Dirty Sanchez!

Recent Email Subject Lines:
Canadian Rockies Public School District #29
Mystic Springs - Annual Reports
Staff Appreciation Week - Expense Account

Good Evening! It's been a goldmine for quotes lately, so let's get right to them, starting with the usual office quotes from the end-half of last week (Mitchell was working in Canmore, hence the selection of quotes from La Tina McMina).

Quotes

Kirk: Working hard...?
Ern: Mmhmm
Kirk: ...on that sandwich.

La Tina McMina: How do you spell "Charged"?
Mitchell: Ugh.

Carrie: Did you know they make bra's with fake headlights sticking out?
Ern: Yes that's what I wear to the gym.

(while at Starbucks)
Barista: You look nice!
Mitchell: Thank you very much.
Barista: What are you doing?
Mitchell: Ummm, ordering tea?
Barista: No I meant like are you on your way to a job interview or something?
Mitchell: Nope, just ordering tea.
Barista: Oh, that just looks like a power suit. You should wear a red tie or something with it. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Mitchell: Yeah, a red tie really wouldn't go with this.

Ern: Good Morning Ernestine speaking
Client: I need to speak to Ashley, Kirk's assistant
Ern: Oh that's me and it's Ernestine
Client: Wasn't I talking to Ashley yesterday?
Ern: Nope, it was still Ernestine yesterday

Ern is walking on 8th Ave and sees a drunk homeless guy with a bunch of troll dolls on his cane:

Hobo: Hey beautiful!
Ern: Hi!
Hobo: You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen
Ern: Thank You! That little comment just made my day!
Hobo: How about making my day by giving me some change?
Ern: Um..I'm sorry I don't have any
Hobo: .......

Did you do your Taxes?

As everyone knows, taxed are due tomorrow (May 1st). On Friday, Kirk was doing his - as a result, we came up with this list about how to remind oneself when taxes are due:

- The water in the toilet starts rotating the opposite way
- Shakira breaks her hip
- H&R Block locations start randomly exploding
- Ern's mom gets very antsy
- Ern and Mitchell's mom are playing more rounds of Mah Jong
- At 8:59PM people in Canmore run around in different directions
- People stop wearing UGG boots
- Random Asian diseases are popping up again ie: SARS, Bird Flu etc

Also, Ern's bosses bought her this for Staff Appreciation Day:

It's name is Gloria, but you have to sing the name in an opera style...

On Friday night, it was Amar's Birthday! TONS of great pictures, which Amar still has yet to send, but Mitchestine did get to briefly bask in adoration from two of our faithful fans Karen and Christina!! Remember, comment comment comment! As soon as pictures become available, we will be sure to post.

Saturday was Jeff's Birthday! He's off to Hawaii now, and also did not yet send any pictures. Things got a bit silly though, and we do have some quotes!

Birthday Quotes!

Amar: The only way to get good marks in University is to sleep with your professor.
Mitchell: Yeah, that's what I call extra curriculum.

Overheard in the background: Coles sells books... books and ass.

Faggy McPurse: Let's do it again for the lady.
(referring to a really lame handshake that Ern expressed an interest in.)

Jodie: London Drugs of Latter Day Saints

And finally, occasional Mitchestine reader Jeremy expressed his discomfort with Mitchestine using the term "Bitches":

"it more just makes me uncomfortable. The same way I feel when I see a guy at Twisted with long blond hair, a shirt made of fishnets and glitter all over his body and he says to his friends "Let's get a drink bitches." or something to that effect."

Ouch Jeremy... very ouch.

Let's get a drink Bitches!!

Ern has an ear infection and TMJ or TJM no wait both...

Recent Subject Lines:
Commissioner of Oath - Annual Renewal Payment;
Second Cup Investment Minerals Foundation; and

Jo effing San bitches! Happy Wednesday! Although, is there anything happy about it?

Does everyone know that this week is the official "Staff/Administrative Appreciation Week"? Yep for all of you that have an assistant give her/him a good slap on the ass!! Mitchell gave Julie a half eaten sandwich from Safeway and screamed "Quiet you!" and I got my boss' cold (which explains the ear infection).

Julie says: "Thanks Mitchell!"

What's new with the Mitchestine?

Mitchell has been scanning through old surveillance tape to look for two missing BIC pens.

Does everyone know that this weekend is the Birthday Bitches weekend? Yes our little girls Jeff and Amar is growing up way too fast. Remember back in 89' when we all wore our pink Sunday dresses and had a tea party? Oh wait..didn't we do that last week except with Sheesha?

Ern has a horrible ear infection that lead to TMJ (which she diagnosed herself) .. ugh she's such a delicate flower!

Quotes

Mitchell: Good morning Bill, how are you?
Bill: I'm busier than a two-dollar hooker at a Shriners Convention.
Mitchell: I have no clue what that means

Linda: Ern I saw your twin!!
Ern: No you didn't
Linda: Yes I did! She worked at Home Depot. I thought it was you at first but I know you would never work at Home Depot...you would probably work at Holt Renfrew definitely not a Home Depot
Ern: Wow that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me
Linda: Oh you're easy to please!
Ern: :)

Ern: I have an ear infection and I've diagnose myself with TMJ or TJM or both
Mitchell: Ugh..TMI
Ern: What does that mean?
Mitchell: Too much information!

Caren: Oh Ern you curled your hair!
Ern: Thanks for noticing
Caren: You look so damn young today
Ern: How young?
Caren: Jail bait
Ern: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.


Top 5

Top 5 Things Ern says on a Daily Basis:

5- "No one said anything nice about my ___" (the blank refers to anything relative to her hair, outfit, makeup etc.)
4- "Jo Man"
3- "Jo San"
2- "It sounds gross, but it isn't" (usually referring to random Asian foodstuffs that often involve an unborn animal)
1- "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me"

Mitchestine and the Pussy Cats!

Daily Momo ramblings from Old Lady Mitchell:

I'm doing fine, I'm really getting over my Tim's addiction, which I'm really proud about. Shat talking about it makes it worse, maybe I'm not completely over it. Anyway I made my green tea really strong this morning because I am TIRED from moving. Still sore from yoga too.

Everyone watch ANTM tonight!!!! They're going to Thailand..you know Home of the Trannys! Jade will fit right in.

Also everyone come party with Mitchestine this Friday at Twisted!

You may leave the catwalk...

Recent Email Subject Lines:
Hotel California Inc - Admission Information
Employee #38096
Draft (Nice Ern, very creative)

To start with, I would like to personally apologize for the picture of the Placenta on last week's post. Yes, Mitchestine found it just as gross as everyone else. We are only human. Does anyone watch The Flavor of Love? Oh no... ooooh no. At 9:30 in the morning there's not much else on, but I feel my mind has instantly been poisoned by watching 30 minutes of this:

Anyway, time to get to the quotes:

(while Ern is eating Sushi) Kirk: Did you make that?
Ern: Yes

(while looking at a tin of tea leaves)
Brent: ERNESTINE! Is this marijuana?
Ern: Yes, you know me
Brent: Good *laughs* roll me a one when I get back
Ern: Sure!

Kirk: Are those new shoes?
Ern: yes! Cherie got the same pair in black
Kirk: You look better in them
Ern: That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me :)
Kirk: You say that about everything...where's my circular??

Wow, that's all of the quotes so far. We'd also like to wish a very happy birthday to Amar and Jeffy (left to right)!

Tom Kitten!

Recent Subject Lines:

Yummy Yum Yum Trust Cheque Transaction
OLP Hostile Takeover - Probated Documents
Tip of the Day: An Ern is Forever

Jo Sandigity! Happy hump day! A huge congratulations to TomKat on their new baby girl, Suri Cruise! I'm still not 100% sure how to pronounce Suri would it be Soo-ree or like the city Surrey? Hmm regardless she's going to get teased a lot in school. Also does everyone know that Tom Cruise is going to eat the placenta? What's a placenta you ask? Here let me show you!


What's new with Mitchestine?

Mitchell and I bought a French Press yesterday for work! It was $9.98 at Superstore...hell yes! And I bought a cheap yoga mat.



Mitchell is addicted to the song "So Contagious" by Acceptance and Ern is officially a Geisha.

ANY BIDS? :)

Also, Mitchell has decided to go find himself by going skydiving on May 6, 2006. While he is skydiving he has requested that the song Breathe by Michelle Branch be played in the background.

Quotes McFarts!

Courier guy: Trouble spelt backwards starts with a capital E (referring to Ern)
Ern: Heh...*nervous laughter*

Cherie: Was your mom a Geisha?
Me: Hahahahha I can't believe you just asked me that.

This isn't really a quote, but Sally has been calling our Controller
"Ralph" this entire time, when his name is actually "Rauf".

Ern: OMG TomKat had their baby!! and he's eating the placenta..right now.
Karen: Ern, you're the second person today that mentioned the placenta!!! How pathetic is he?He's trying waaaayyyyyy too hard to convince us he's straight.
Ern: Isn't the mom supposed to eat the placenta?
Karen: Nobody is supposed to be eating the placenta!!!


Random Momo thoughts by Old Lady Mitchell

"Here's what I want to buy - a pair of jeans (probably girls because they don't really make them for guys) that are really long and tapered so that I can roll them up so that they are kind of like cutoffs."

Today's Eff You

- A&G clothing line - umm an ACDC shirt is $260 USD um yeah eff you!
- Urban Outfitters - $40 USD for a pair of shoes and $70 USD for shipping - yes what the eff?
- Eclipse gum. Eww.


Mitchell's Positive TOP 5

- No lineup at the Tim's Drive thru and almost no rush hour traffic
- I'm not as sore as I was yesterday from yoga
- I saw hot-Audi boy in the Tim's parking lot
- I have lots of work to do today so I will be productive and hopefully not bored to tears.
- I closed a big deal within 20 minutes of starting work today



One of Perez's comments about the name Suri (TomKat's kid):

Well in Canada we pronounce Surrey the way its spelled, not Sorry. It is also a suburb of Vancouver where a lot of crime happens. (I think, I don't live there but wouldn't move there either.) Who knew tom had a kinship with downtrodden Canadian suburbs?

Daily Creepy Messages!

Subject Line: waz up I am an avid reader, a huge music fan

From: Mr. No Sex
To: Mitchell

I am simple man who loves life as it is. Wish it were different, but it is not. I have a passion for pictures and stories. Sometimes, I thin that I am becoming older, like in eging. If you are capable of travelling just to be with me...then YOU must be the one meant for me... Sex will come later after I get to know you more. So don't ask me about sex.

Subject Line: Hello
From: Mr. Italy
To: Ern

hello hello, i'm italian, i'd like to discover you...but do you have webcam? i do it. yes i like to play on webcam..do you want? if yes..woww you are so beautiful..ehm do you have msn or yahoo..? give me so i add you on my list..a big kiss from italy


Everyone watch ANTM tonight!!! - Later Bitches!!

Jo Sunday!

Recent Subject Lines:
"At a Glance" Switchboard Procedures
Jo Sanny McManny
Nine Publishing Inc. - National Sales Office Request
Bubble Tea Transaction

Jo Manji! I hope everynoe enjoyed their long weekends! I (Mitchell) am updating the blog today, because my computer finally works again! Mitchestine went to Hot Yoga again on Saturday, and it was much hotter than last time. Oh and there were much hotter guys there this time too. Uncle Jo San was there again, and he was breathing just as heavily as ever.

Microdermatastic! It's Sunday, and that means Aveda Tourmaline Masks!



So So So Scandalous. I'm reading this book right now, and although it's a bit preachy, it's very interesting. It's not like a "Doctor's Book of Home Remedies" or anything like that, it's more of an expose on the corruption of Pharmecutical companies who control EVERYTHING, including the government, media. It all sounds very brainwashy, so I reccommend that anyone who reads it take it with a grain of salt.


Creeeepy. Ern wants to get this bizarre contraption to stretch her pants. No deal. It's weird.

Alrighty, let's get to the Quotes:

Ern: Sate means Hot/Spicy in Vietnamese.
Mitchell: That's a lie.

Ern: Look at this picture of Mitchell I bought him this cat.
Ern's Mom: Mitchell is very handsome, why are his teeth so damn white? they're even whiter than yours.
Ern: :(
Mitchell (upon reading of this conversation): I love your Mom more than ever.

Ern: How big is 16 inches?
Mitchell: That's what he said.

Manager at the gym: Hey good looking!
Ern: Hey hows it going?
Manager: Nice skirt
Erm: Thanks!
Manager: Thats a really big bruise (I have a huge one on my shin b/c I don't know how to walk up the stairs..yes UP) - Did your boyfriend do that?
Ern: Yes... I mean no.

Yoga Instructor (to Ern): I like your Water Bottle.
Ern: Thanks!
Mitchell: .........

And finally... this contribution comes from Mitchestine reader IrrationalJ. These are sweaters knit by Mormons. Although sweaters for penguins may seem superfluous, they apparently had their feathers damaged... oh who the hell cares, they are EFFING ADORABLE.

Read more here:
http://www.lds.org/newsroom/showrelease/0,15503,3881-1-23227,00.html


Have a fantastic week bitches!!

Tilda and The Week is Half Over!!

Recent Subject Lines:

- Miss Butterworth v. Hello Kitty
- Draft Agreement (From Tuesday)
- Executed Documents for Senõr Jo Sanny (From Monday)
- Today's Special: Meridian Crabs for Sale (From Friday)

Jo Sanny world! Thanks to our faithful reader/commenter Angy for keeping on top of us. Mitchestine is indeed overdue for an update, and oh, the hilarious antics to talk about...

Please note* if anyone chooses to threaten us (this means you Angy) please make sure to enclose one or more of the following:

- A handwritten note in blood;
- A condom;
- Thousand year old eggs (yeah you know what I'm talking about);
- A picture of you trying to hurt a Fat Chinese Fortune Cat; and/or
- Flavoured Tabacco, we like Pink Lemonade.

Or else we can't take you seriously.

So Ern has been very busy at work today, Mitchell has to some extent, but just hasn't been melodramatically complaining about it all day... Mitchestine went to Hot Yoga on Saturday and got all sweaty and bendy.

Then we had another Sheesha night last night with Jeffy and Amar. That's all irrelevant though - we know what you are here for... QUOTES!

Oh we added a new section! Mean things Mitchestine's Mom Says/Does

Quotes from The Office:

Cherie: Oh your hair looks very volumed and teased today!
Ern: That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Ern: My boss says they're opening a BEBE store in Calgary
Mitchell says: Boo to Bebe. That store annoys me, although it will probably give a nice break to all the Asians who sport TnA like it's going out of style (...which it is).

Ern: We should start a treat day on this floor
Cherie: I know! we are the only floor that doesn't have treat day!
Ern: Or how about a healthy day?
Cherie: What the hell are you going bring? Bok Choy?
Ern: :(

The afternoon Ern went to the doctor's

Kirk (in his office screaming): Ernestine!!
Lola (replacement for 1/2 the day): I guess that's me..

Quotes from Sheesha!

Jeff: is that guy gay?
Ern: Yes
Jeff: You're the only straight person at this table........................again
Ern: :(

Ern: How many bikinis are you going to bring to Hawaii?
Jeff: About 7, well 7 sets but 14 pieces. I like to mix and match

Amar: Yeah last time it was really ashy.
Waitress: Yeah, the hose had probably been used to much

Ern: (freaking out because the coal is sparking)
Waitress: Don't worry... although it's probably going to blow all over you.... Just kidding.

Mean things Mitchestine's Mom Says/Does

Mitchell: I'm going to wash my car
Mitchell's Mom: Of course you are.

Ern wakes up one morning and finds a bunch of Post-Its all over the house written DIET.

Ern: Are those reminder notes for you or me?
Ern's Mom: Both - but mainly you
Ern: :(

Today's TOP 5

Top 5 things that makes Ern happy in the morning

- Fibre 1 Cereal
- Perfectly teased hair
- Listening to some hardcore rap while getting ready
- Omega 3, 6 and 9
- 20 minutes Jo San Pilates

Pictures from the Sheesha/Girl's Night!

Two more sleeps until the effing long weekend!

Mmm mmm can I please have another slice of that Bitch's Delight?

Bye bitches!!

Happy Weekend!! Rain Rain Go Away..

Recent Email Subject Lines:

-Cute without an E Inc. - Rush Package
-People v. Ms. Pink Easter Bunny - Revised Noting in Default
- Sheesha Mc Beesha - Registration Confirmed
- FW: SUSPECT: Re: Today's Special: Meridian Crabs for Sale

Jo San and Pass that Sheesha Bitches!! I hope everyone is enjoying the irregular postings of Mitchestine. Just think of it as delayed pleasure - you go for several days without any, then all of a sudden you get a super concentrated dose and then you have to change your underwear. What?

ANTM Gossip Corner

WTF? How is Ms. Drag Queen still on the show? Also WTF is up with her Queen hand wave hen she was suppose to improvising.

Maybe its just me but Nenna doesn't seem as innocent as we all think. Also, her boyfriend has ot to go! If there is anything Mitchestine and Models hate its possessive boys! Ugh this gossip corner will not hold up without China..I kinda miss her.

Today's Chinese Proverb from Old Man Mitchell

For every pound that Ern loses, a sad Asian gains two.



Quotes!!

Bruce: I'm sick
Ern: Sanitize your hands!
Bruce: No!

Julie: What is that effing ringing?? It sounds like a super old fashioned phone!
Mitchell: Yeah, it's 1930 calling.

Ern: Bring the baby in this Friday I want to see her!
Bruce: Maybe....I don't think my wife trust you with her
Ern: I can baby sit!
Bruce: Did you baby sit when you were a teenager?
Ern: No, but I did read the complete set of the Baby Sitter's Club

Mitchell: I've decided that I hate Star Jones because I'm jealous of her life. I want to get my stomach stapled. You must hate her because you want a flaming husband.

Mitchell: Can you please input this booking into Fidelio?
Julie: Do you want fries with that?

Jen: I can't picture Mitchell being gay

Mitchell: How does it know every number?
Ern: It's fun eh? Just keep playing with it until it comes.

Today's Eff You!

- K&B
- Forgetting the straw for my coffee this morning (Mitchell)
- People that insist on making an invigorate "AAAHhhhhhhhh" sound after they have a drink of water.
- Starbuck's Caramel Macchiato

Top 5 Things that Make Mitchell Less Grumpy in the Morning:

5- Other Grumpy People (that's right - unnecessarily cheery people piss me off in the morning)
4- Watching people slip and fall on the ice
3- Coffee
2- Daylight
1- Coffee

Mitchestine tried Hot Yoga at the Bodhi Tree this Saturday and it was really fun until Mitchell farted.

Quotes from Yoga:

The guy sitting next to Ern: Namaste
Ern: Namaskar!

Yoga Instructor: While doing this pose pretend your holding a big box.

Things to bring to Hot Yoga

Lots of water
A Towel
A Mat
A Kitty

Have a super weekend bitches!!

Ern's toe is broken...

Today's Subject Line: People v. Ms. Pink Easter Bunny - Revised Noting in Default

Jo Mama blog world! I understand everyone is still upset about Mitchestine not being a daily updated blog..but that's life.

There is a broken bone in my fourth toe and Mitchell is looking for a new place to crash. (Update: Ern is being a drama queen about her toe, it's not actually broken)

Amarchestine went to Med Cafe last night and what an experience it was. For those of you who are not familiar with Med Cafe (located near Vicious Circle) its a cafe where you smoke flavored tobacco out of a huge bong, this practice is called Sheesha.

Sketchy and fun? Absolutely! We tried Mango Strawberry and it was effing delicious! It was practically inhaling bubble tea..wait were we? If there is one thing the Amarchestine enjoy it is Bubble Tea and filling out lungs with smoke.

Quotes!

In Michael Kors-

Ern: Where are we going?
Amar: Med Café
Ern: What? We are actually going somewhere? I thought we were going to smoke up in a culdesac..in the North East

While leaving Med Café-

Amar: I hate the rain, it makes my hair frizzy.
Homeless Guy (appearing out of nowhere): Try living outside.

Jay: (Talking about a Holt Renfrew Guy-Girl Singles Mixer) "Umm. Clearly no. We should send little Won-ton so she can pick-up a Triad kingpin with a Prelude so her mother will love her."

(Little Wonton = Ern)

Kirk: Why aren't you going to the gym today?
Ern: What is that suppose to mean?
Kirk: Ugh...your massive! You can barely fit in that chair
Ern: :(

Roland: Wow, that's a great suit.
Mitchell: You always compliment me on my outfit, that's my favorite part of my job.
Roland: ...

Bruce: Where's Jon? Jen (Jon's assistant): He went for coffee
Bruce: When?
Jen: About 10 minutes
Bruce: Nope, your absolutely wrong.

Sandy: Yeah, Heidi had a surgery about a year ago... on her girly parts.
Mitchell: Gross.

This is your Canadian Idol; Manorexia..

You voted for him.

TOP 5

- A big shlong
- Deep sexy radio voice
- No crusties on the side of his mouth
- Enjoys the taste of chicken feet at Dim Sum
- Makes more than 1.8 million dollars a year

Can you guess what today's TOP 5 is?

Today's Eff You

- Ern's hair
- Ern's broken toe (as mentioned above - not actually broken)
- Mitchell's hand cream, which never used to smell bad but now it does

How fast can you get lady wood?

Mmm...hmm

Everyone watch America's Next Top Model tonight!~

P.S. Why the hell is our sidebar on the bottom of the blog?

Mitchestine are dunzo!!

Today's Subject: RE: Trust Cheque - Wonton Corporation

Well we're not officially dunzo...but the Mitchestine have decided that we won't be updating this blog as frequently anymore. Both of us have huge commitment problems (ie: boys, relationships, high speed internet, cell phone plans, gym memberships and etc.) who would've thought a blog would be hard to keep up? So instead of having daily updates we will make an honest effort to update once every 3 or 4 days..but definitely once a week! The content of the blog will still remain the same ie: fun quotes, top 5's, ANTM gossip and random crap.

A huge thank you to our dedicated readers: Jeffy, Angy, Chrissy, Rebecca, Sonia, Jay, Amar, Malinda, that dude in Taiwan..we sincerely appreciate the support. We love you guys!!

For the mean time feel free to visit Ern's new blog http://www.ernestine.blogsource.com

Anyway enough of this emo BS lets get on with today's blog!

Quotes

Sandy: I met with your client last week, I told him you were the best dressed person in the hotel.
Mitchell: :)

I highlight the week I get my Kitty on my monthly calendar and I put a huge circle on the day I'm ovulating.

Bruce: Are those all the days you worked overtime?
Ern: Yes
Bruce: Whats with the big circle?
Ern: That is when Passover begins at Sundown
Bruce: What the hell?

Today's WTF?

As a committed reader to Askmen.com I am quite offended by one of today's article. They listed a TOP 7 Dating Books and here is one of them:



Yep..WTF was my same reaction. This Asian broad thinks she can speak on behalf of every Asian girl out there! Ugh. The first chapter discusses our non-existing eyelid folds. I immediately sent an e-mail to Mitchell and this was his response:


OMG That's the weirdest book ever!!
The girl on the cover is so ugly!

Have you "Explored" the book inside? I want to read the Chapter 12 -Eleven Things You Should Never Say To An Asian Lady. HAHA That would be awesome.

11) Can you help me with my math homework?
10) What's going on with my computer?
9) Is it true you have horizontal bum cracks? OMG The first part of Chapter 1 is the "Asian Eyelid Fold"!!

Click here to purchase the book. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0971580804/ref=ase_askmencommagazin/103-3659793-1553442?s=books&v=glance&n=283155&tagActionCode=askmencommagazin

Ern says: When I was younger I use to tape my eyelids so I would look less Asian.
Mitchell says: When I was younger I taped my eyelids so I would look MORE Asian.


Today's EFF YOU
- Mitchell's computer it finally crashed..forever
- Ern's hair

Check out these dog flowers!

That's it for now! Bubble Tea bitches!

Yay Mitchell didn't puke at Twisted!!

Jo san everyone!!! Happy weekend. We didn't get a chance to update on Thursday or Friday b/c we were just simply lazy. I went to the Flames game on Friday night and it was fun. How odd that some people get really into it..the most you can get out of me is a 'woo' when they score.

Mitchell and I got our hair did this week and we look amazing!

So China is finally gone!!

Ugh. Finally - it was soo dreadful watching her pose with that effing measuring tape. Girl come on! I have to give her props for standing up for herself when the Tranny was hating her. However, now that China is out of the way I guess I am routing for the Tranny..isn't she part Asian? Half Tranny half Asian? - I really can't hate on China she is Mitchestine's second cousin...Jeff's first cousin.

Oh the whole Nenna part barely anything! Puhleese she merely pecked the hot model. Her boyfriend sounds like a possessive little Kitty. Wait a minute is her boyfriend Kitty?

Quotes

Bruce: So you got your hair done Ern: Yep thanks for noticing Bruce: Yeah Kirk made me say something or you'll pout all day Ern: :(

At Twisted

Mitchell: Would you ever hit a girl?
Chris: No, but I would beat up a dyke

Ern chatting it up with some Saskatoonians

Ern: So have you been to any other gay bars in Calgary?
Heather: Yeah, the Back Alley
Ern: That's not a gay bar
Heather: It's not?

Uncle Jo San says: Don't forget to set your clock back bitches!!

So Mitchell and I went to Twisted last night and we had a lot of fun as usual. Mitchell didn't puke on my jeans, his jeans, Amar's jeans, the bouncer, or anyone at Twisted! We're quite proud of our little girl! We saw a girl with a t-shirt that said "Eat Pussy" how odd Mitchell and I have the same t-shirt in pink.

It would of been 10x more fun our dearest Jeff and Sonia was there but Amar did show up and we yes love him more than you guys now! Speaking of Amar a huge congratulations to him on getting accepted to a very prestigious hoidy toidy internship in Montreal! Sounds like a long weekend trip for the Mitchestine..

Random message from Myspace.com

From:
Dude

Date:
Apr 1, 2006 7:58 PM

Subject:
No Subject

Body:
Hey Saw your profile and thought you were interesting, and would like to get to know you. If your interested "add me up" on msn at dude@hotmail.com Cheers Name

Yes I am interesting - Thank you!

TOP 5

Top 5 nicknames for Ern

- The Asian girl on floor 40
- Little Wonton
- Miss eat a lot
- HuynhE (pronounced Hwin-E)
- Big E

Top 5 things Mitchestine do at Twisted

- Smoke a whole pack of cigars
- Have random straight and gay men rub up against us with a boner
- Ask people for a light
- Dance in the shower
- Refill our "O. J."

Okay enjoy the rest of this beautiful Chinook weekend bitches!