Emo day

Today's Subject Line: RE: Tco3 - Outstanding Invoices

Ern says: Good evening blog world! Wow after reading yesterday's threatening comment I truly do feel threatened. However, I like my threats to be written in blood, enclosed with some-sorta birth control, sprayed with cheap perfume and sealed with a kiss and I think I can speak for Mitchell as well. I had to work over time today and we all know how I feel about working overtime...


Mitchell's Top 5 Activities to Pass the Time at Work:

5 - Moisturize
4 - Eat
3 - Eavesdrop on other peoples conversations for clog-worthy quotes
2 - Read Pink
1 - Email Ern!

I'm suprised 'eating' was #4 mmm hmm I said it.


Top 5 Reasons why Ern text's Mitchell all the time:

5- She get's free text messaging for 3 Months
4- Kitty (the posessive one) doesn't like it when she texts people
3- She has no one else to text2- Texting burns 32 Calories per minute
1- Mitchell's responses make her life worth living

Bruce: Whats with the women's underwear?
Ern: Its a Women's Health magazine

Shelly: Does anyone remember Grace? That cute little Jamaican lady?
Everyone talking at once: "Oh yeah" "I LOVED her!" "She was great,what's she doing now, didn't she move to Georgia?"
Shelly: Yeah... her Dad died.
*awkward silence*

Jay: Oh Ern you got the new Pink Razr!
Ern: Yeah I love it!
Jay: I don't think you have my number in there
Ern: Nope...(walks towards the Jugo Juice) Have a nice day!

So apparently NSFW means Not Suitable for Work and NOT: No SatisFaction for Wendy. Please do not get the two confused.

Can you guess who the person is in the above picture? ANSWER in tommorow's blog!

Zip up Bitches!

Monday mornings..

Today's subject line: Article - Calgary Herald June23, 2005-Cross-CultureBarriers

Ern says: What the eff kind of subject line is that?! Oh Mitchell tried to rap in one of our previous emails no one needs to read that...I was gone for two days and all my Sheraton mints are effing gone. I over used my hoof hoof cuticle cream and Mitchell took Julie out for lunch today - his mission was to avoid sending 'kitty vibes' he failed.

So mom text message Mitchell's mom lastnight and this is what she had to say: "Your Son is more authentically Asian than my Daughter, and he's skinnier. Peace the spork out".

Patty (looking at the new mailbox on the wall outside my office): Wow,this is cool, who did that? Mitchell: I did! I used tools and everything and put it up all by myself.
Patty: *exaggerated bowing motion*

Bruce: hows the bronchitis?
Ern: gone...almost gone

Old geaser: Where the eff is my coffee?
Kirk and Bruce looking scared: uh...we didn't know you were here!
Old geaser: Where the eff did you think I would be?

Wow what a crappy day for quotes here's some useless fillers:

Top 5 random t-shirts the Mitchestines are getting this summer:

5. I'm coming out!
4. It's not easy being Ern
3. Mitchestine.Blogspot.com
2. For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat 3
1. Kitty

Top 5 Favorite things to read about on Pink:

5. Bex and Posh
4. Brangelina
3. Lindsay Lohans Drug Escapades
2. Jake and his various BF's
1. Kathy Hilton's Kitty's

Top 5 things Ern says at work:

5. Stop yelling at me
4. Whats that smell?
3. Did you read Pink today?
2. Sanitize Please! (when people come talk to me I require them to sanitize their hands I say this while squit them some sanitizer)
1. Who took my hole puncher?

Is anyone else angry that Mowana didn't get picked on the Bachelor? Eff the other broad!

Broad this bitches!

Miso Soup and Manicures

Mitchell says: Doing work is not allowed on the weekends, so on Saturday Mitchestine went for sushi and then manicures!

Here are some interesting snippets of conversation that the day yielded:

Mitchell: You should pretend you are a hair stylist, you look like you could be one.
Ern: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Jeff: ...I just got back
Ern: From Oolong?
Jeff: No, San Fransisco.

This is a picture of Ern's Manicurist.

I forget the other good quotes, more to come later today.

Ern says: Jo San weekenders! Mitchell included all the good quotes from the weekend so there's nothing for me to add. For those that were concerning about my health I am getting better good bye bronchitis. Thank you for all the support, flowers, and get well cards.

I was having a MSN conversation with our good friend Jeff and he was about to tell me a 'story':

Ern: Tell tonight! me and Mitchell are dying to know what happened...

Jeff: yeah I doubt Mitchell cares that much

Jeff is wrong. Although, I can't speak for Mitchell I can speak on behalf of Mitchestine. We care a lot. Top 5 things we care about:

5. Geisha's

4. Boys

3. San Francisco

2. Homo's

1. Ourselves

I'm back at work tomorrow which means Mitchell won't be bored and I will actually have to work! Enjoy the rest of this cold weekend!

Bronchitis and Canmore

Ern says: Boo! What a crappy effing day for quotes. We have none! I have bronchitis and I called in sick today! :( Mitchell is in Canmore yes Canmore...overnight and he had a romantic dinner for one.

While medically diagnosing myself on the internet this is the root cause of bronchitis:

Root Causes: Either allergy inducing factors as weather conditions, dust, food, drugs, perfumes, pollution etc. or psychological factors as deep-seated emotional insecurity, an intense need for parental love etc. or hereditary / genetic factors

WOW! How did they know I have deep emo insecurity and I was neglected as an Asian child...?

This is the nicest compliment I've received from Mitchell from the last 6 years :

"My day was boring without your e-mails… That’s right, I said it… boring. "

Alright! Sanitize your hands if you plan to ride Calgary Transit bitches!

Did it effing snow 3000 cm of snow lastnight?

Today's Subject Line: Billy Elliott - Financial Transaction

Ern says: What a cold day! I'm sick out of my mind! Is that a cough from a 50 year old man that's been smoking for the last 30 years? Oh no that's just Ern!

I forgot to mention that Julie got employee of the month! Congratulations to Miss J! Whats the secret to becoming employee of the month? I suggest sleeping your way to the top with lots of attitude!

I was really busy today but I did manage to get a few good quotes:

My boss and my mom's cell # are just one number off so I often get them both mixed up:

Ern: *Answering phone* Hi Mom...
Bruce: ...*high pitched voice* Heeeyy Honey... did you remember to take your birth control pill?

Okay so I was on the phone earlier booking a manicure appointment for Mitchell and I. I had to spell out our name to the lady at Marvel - prior to me calling Marvel, Bruce asked me to send a package to one of our fancy clients name Jack Mitchell:

Bruce: What the heck was that about?
Ern: Nothing
Bruce: It was something
Me: Just making an appointment for a manicure for me and Mitchell
Bruce: Jack Mitchell!?!?
Me: No! my Mitchell
Bruce: Oh

Bruce comes out of his office swinging a bat - yes an effing baseball bat:

Bruce: Can you do some extra provincial searches on these companies?
Me: Yes, whats with the bat?
Bruce: Protection

So Ern was working out at lunch in the weights section and EVERYONE was watching the hockey game:

Some old geaser: hey don't you like hockey?
Ern: I like to work out my shoulders
Old Geaser: *scrowl*

Patty: I had to go to the emergency room last night, I bit my tongue so bad I started to choke on my blood.
Julie: I bet that hurt.
Patty: Yep, it did.

Hannah: Holy Crap! ATCO is asking me to book them for 2007!
Shirley (Reading Email Forward): Hahah, he's eating the cat's tail.


Thats all from me! Stay warm bitches!

Happy back to work Tuesday!

Ern says: Wow the long weekend went by too fast! It took me 3 cups of green tea to slowly 'adjust' to my surroundings this morning. I was very productive in fact I stayed over time! Over time = 15 minutes. On with what you have all been waiting for:

*So on Friday we went to Twisted and although, Mitchell was 'intoxicated' he still managed to text me on his Blackberry and this was my little Jo San message:

Wee can't aDd Amar its toii harameAmaritchestine is oyur namre from montrael yay we tyravel tjherw

Kirk: Did you get your teeth pulled today?
Ern: No..why?
Kirk: your cheeks look swollen
Ern: Well I am sick but my lymph nodes are really big today
Kirk: Maybe its b/c you tied your hair back

Bruce: Smile!
Ern: *smiling*

Wow there are no good quotes today and Mitchell had absolutely no quotes maybe he was in that 'meeting' who knows. However, this was his favourite quote of mine today:

Ern: "Cherie got a facial peel this weekend from a Tranny in Okotoks. She said that after 4 treatments she will have and I quote 'kick ass skin'."

Ugh...here's some useless filler:

Mitchell's Menu:
Breakfast: Strawberry/Mango Smoothie with Flax Seed Fiber 1 Cereal
Lunch: Baked Salmon Filet Cottage Cheese Whole Wheat Pita Cucumber Salad Steamed Veggies

Ern's Menu:
Breakfast - Fibre cereal
10 am - vanilla yogurt, protein drink and an apple
1pm - half a pastrami sandwhich with baby carrots
4pm - the other half and a huge grapefruit

For dinner both of us went to Fiore with our good friend Sonia - I miss her already.

Namaskar!

Weekenders!

Happy Long Weekend!

Like all of the so-hot-right-now Bloggers, Mitchestine was given an all expenses paid trip to Amsterdam! As such, posts this weekend will be limited. We're having an amazing time here, and we just happened to run into TRENT from Pink Is the New Blog! (below)



That's all for today... go spend time with your family.

Jo San Developments Corp. Financial Statement

Ern says: Happy long weekend everyone! Lots of good quotes coming from my end however, I can't speak for Mitchell. I was super busy today and as a mentor I had to take two new students out for lunch and it was just delightful. Today I was reminded that I was Asian every 20 seconds..I am?

Bruce: Can you come in tomorrow between 11-3?
Ern: No
Bruce: How about Sunday?
Ern: Definitly not
Bruce: Hmm..

Kirk: In case you havne't noticed............
Ern: Oh thats a new shirt! I like it
Kirk: What do you like about it?
Ern: Um its blue

Bruce: How was lunch?
Ern: Good! we went to Saltlicks on 8th
Bruce: what did you eat?
Ern: a smoked meat sandwhich with a salad
Bruce: thats not real smoked meat

Mitchell: I'm in a conference all day Thursday.
Julie: Oh, that sucks. The office is no fun without you.

Kirk and Bruce are talking in Bruce's office talking quite loud so I heard the jist of it

Kirk: check this out!
Bruce: Yeah thats effed up man
Kirk: I bet Ern will appreciate it(both comes out to my desk)
Kirk: There's ribbon sewed on the inside of my shirt sleeve
Ern: *touching* ooh thats really soft - I like details like that onclothing items
Kirk: See Bruce! If you want to pick up 20 year old Asian girls you gotta have ribbon in your shirt
Bruce: Um...thats inappropriate - work time is pay time - go back to work everyone

I gave Kirk a draft agreement I did all by myself! He looked at it..

Kirk: this is good print it in good copy
Ern: Already have *hands him the good copy*
Kirk: your cocky.

Bruce: Did you find anyone to work tomorrow
Ern: No - are you mad that I can't come in?
Bruce: No
Ern: Will this affect my review?
Bruce: It already has (does a creepy cat eye)

Amanda: Where's Heidi?
Julie: She's upstairs but she's just started talking about herself so she wont be back for a while
Mitchell: Its funny b/c its true



(While standing in the lobby)

Ceridian Guy: Hey, you look like you're in charge, can you sign for thispackage?
Mitchell: Are these pay cheques? Aren't these confidential?
Ceridian Guy: Nah, not really.

Mitchell says: Um type that..say: we are better than Pink is the New Blog....bitches!

Just when you thought our header picture was creepy....

Mitchell played duck duck goose all day

Ern says: Hello blog world! No good quotes today because Mitchell was in a 'meeting' that involved candy and sitting around in a circle with their legs crossed all day! How disappointing! On the other hand, I was very productive. When I talk to client's on the phone they don't bother ask how to pronounce my name so I guess I was Christine for about 20 minutes..sometimes I like to play along too! Oh! No creepy emails today ... I was looking forward to them :( - on with the quotes:

Geaser #1: Do you get all your shirts from eBay?
Geaser #2: Only on the weekends (walks away..)
Geaser #1: What the eff kind of answer is that? (mumbles) only on the weekends!?

Kirk: "here's a bunch of crap you printed to the copier"
Bruce: "its not mine - its Big E"
Big E (unfortunately, thats Ern): "Well its your crap Bruce"
Bruce: "Kirk is going to shoot you b/c your printing so much crap to the copier"
Big E: "shoot is a bad word"

Everyone watch The Office tonight!!

Bitches Delight!

Creepy Mc Creepy

Subject Line: Patterson Assignment

Ern says: Another unproductive day at The Office! Mitchell and I played Fantasy Boss-Assistant - my tasks were to play with puppies at Petland. I learned how to type with my boobs. The creepy emails keep coming in from Creepy Mc Creep. He makes my day some-what interesting. Creepy Mc Creep is not Mitchell. Anyway here are the quotes of the day!

Mitchell: Can you please input this booking into Fidellio?
Julie: No.
Mitchell: Uhhhh....

Bruce is wearing a fancy blue cordless headset - and he's not on the phone.

Some old geaser: "Hey Britney"
Bruce: "Hey"

Julie: What kind of billing will this group have? Are they approved for Direct Billing?
Mitchell: No, they're not. They will be paying by cheque.
Julie: I'm just going to put it down as Direct Billing. It doesn't matter.

Wow Julie's got attitude!

Ciao bitches!

Happy Effing Valentines Day!

Mitchell says: I'm getting sick... that being said, here's Ern's quote of the day:

Kirk: (Upon seeing Ern's VDay Chocolate) Is that for me?
Ern: No it's for me from Cherie
Kirk: Whatever - if it was for me I wouldn't get you to do this but now you have to..(gave Ern10 things to do at once)

And for Me...

F.A: What's that smell?
Mitchell: Lemon Butter.
F.A: For your muffin?
Mitchell: For my cuticles.

Ern says: Happy Valentines day! Ugh what a shitty day to celebrate this vague world called 'love'. So I got 3 Valentines day cards: Mother, Cherie and Kitty! - Nothing was accomplished at the Office today however, I got an odd e-mail that made my afternoon quite interesting.

*playing Break Away by Kelly Clarkson on my yahoo radio*

Kirk: "I fucking love this song - sometimes I want to break away"
Ern: "Me too!"

Bruce: "What's up with that big back pack?"
Ern: "Its my gym bag - I have a lot of stuff"
Bruce: "Is there drugs in there?"
Ern: "No"

Mitchell: "I have a bunch of crap to do I have to stay over time"
Ern: "Just give it to your assistant! Or give it to me!"
Mitchell: "Can you go to the next office and tell me what colour chairs they have?"
Ern: "Are you trying to hit on me?"
Mitchell: "Is that what he's doing?"
Ern: "I don't know:"

Last one!

Mitchell: "I just realized that the shuttle guy reminds me of Kitty - he has that cool and rock and roll type of attitude"
Ern: "No such thing"

Okay Read Mitchestine Bitches!

Siya Nora.

Day 2 - Pre-Valentines Day Nothing

Today was a dissapointing day for quotes. Mitchell had a rather busy day and was so focused her heard no one but himself, and Ern was busy rubbing crabby on her face. We do have two reasonably decent quotes to post:

Kirk :"can you make reservations at tribune? for tomorrow - if theyrebooked try these ones" (he gave me a list of 4 places)

Ern: "okay"10 minutes later (i'm still at my desk and he's in his office) - in our playground voice "they're all booked"

Kirk: "faaaack"

And....

Sean: Hi how are you?
Client: Good thanks, how are you?
Sean: I’m great thanks! How are you?
Client: Uh… good.

Also, in other news, Mitchestines publicist has approved the below picture to be released to the public. Please note, distribution of this picture to other public sources is strictly prohibited.

Later bitches!

First Entry!

Jo San world!

This blog is dedicated to the weird conversations that happen during office hours between myself (Ern aka Kitty #1) and Mitchell (aka Kitty #2). We cleverly collaborated both our names and created Mitchestine GET IT!?

Random Quotes from Friday:

Me: "Mom, try this DuWop it makes your lips bigger, it has a burning sensation"
Mom: "why the hell do you want your lips bigger?"
Me: "I don't know..."
Mom: "your dumb - Chinese people want small lips and small feet"
Mom: "what the hell is that beeping noise?"

Heidi (talking about a vase): I've got a HUGE one if you want it!
Tara: Yeah, I totally want a big one!
Heidi: Yeah, I've got a really big one at home, I can bring ittomorrow.I've got a medium one too actually.
Tara: I would love the big one.

Bruce "hey Ern can you book me a boardroom all day?"
Ern "yeah sure for 10?"
Bruce "well 9 those guys are late"
Ern "so are you..."
Bruce "well its Friday..and you know what happens on Thursday we'vebeen through this!"
Ern "bye!"