Sneak a Peek Peek!
Happy Hump La Thursday Day everyone! This week is a short week and as a result this will be a short post. Today is the first official day of Stampede!! Well technically it's Sneak a Peek day..but here's a YEEHAW from Mitchestine!
What's new with Mitchestine?
Not much, not much at all.
Mitchestine will be making a special appearance this Saturday night at Twisted! We will also be bringing along some special guests. Everyone come party with us!
Quotes
Kirk: It's my Birthday!
Ern: No it's not
Kirk: Yes it is!
Ern: Nope I diarised it! *looks at calendar* OMG it is! Happy Birthday...
Mitchell: *coughing*
Keith: What's up Coughy McPhlegmbag?
Mitchell: Gross.
Kirk: I appreciate you *hands over can of OJ*
Ern: Ugh.
Christina: *drops her BBT on the floor*
Everyone: *gasps* OMG...
Ern: They paged you like 10 times today
Carrie: I know! Everyone wants me. I feel like the Company's whore.
Kirk: *whistles* I am not whistling AT you, I'm just whistling.
Ern: Ugh I know.
Kirk: Because that would be Sexual Harassment
Ern: Yeah I get it.
Fred: Do you want to buy a ticket to the Company's Stampede Party?
Ern: No
Caren: Ern, are you going to the Company's Stampede Party?
Ern: No, are you?
Caren: Bitch, please.
Ern: How long is your conference next week?
Mitchell: Oh it's very long...very long. So long. Maybe you will get to see it one day.
Ern: No
Onar: What are you drinking?
Ern: Singapore Sling
Onar: Don't you get that every time?
Ern: Um, yes. Although, this is the second time we've ever met.
Jay: I saw a homeless person jacking off next to the Mary Brown's head office
Amar: My Geisha!
Ern: That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Jay: Ern, are you tight?
Theresa: Does Mitchell have a girlfriend yet?
Jay: I think a Lotus is a symbol of the trans-gender community.
Justin: Isn't a Lotus an insect? ...no wait that's a locust.
Niggar: *whips out her boob to show her new nipple ring*
Mitchell: :-O
Justin: Ern, are you Japanese?
Jay: Aren't you Korean?
Mitchell: No one really knows
Top5
Ern's Top5 favourite BBT drinks:
5. Taro
4. Strawberry and Papaya
3. Watermelon
2. Strawberry and Mango
1. Strawberry and Pineapple
This Week's Eff You
- Sweating on the C-train
- The Price of Stampede Ride Tickets
- Mosquito bites
- Trashy highlights
- Asslee Simpson
Ask Mitchestine!
This week's Anonymous Ask Mitchestine comes from someone that is currently constipated. However, We have a idea who it is (Karen G.? No wait that was too obvious..Malaysian Mangler?)
Dear Mitchestine,
I am interested in trying a detox this month. Any recommendations?
- Poo Poo
Dear Poo Poo,
Ugh.
Where do I start? Ironically I had a conversation about detoxes in a conference e-mail with some bitches earlier this week. Quasi-Chiropractors recommends that every one should detox once a year when they turn 18 and three times a year when they turn 39.
What exactly is a Detox?
Wikipedia defines detoxing as:
Detox, short for detoxification, in general is the removal of toxic substances from the body. It is one of the functions of the liver and kidneys, but can also be achieved artificially by techniques such as dialysis and (in a very limited number of cases) chelation therapy.
I've tried a few detoxes in my years and the best are the ones that make you poo 20 times a day. The last detox I did I pooed out a lady bug her name is Sheila.
Love,
Mitchestine
On a sad note, our good friend Lady A is off to Montreal. He will be working in a French factory making red barrettes for 14 hours a day. In return he will be allowed to eat all the french bread in the world. We miss already.
That's all from me btiches!! It's apparently hailing outside so stay dry! Have a wonderful Stampede Weekend!
posted by Mitchestine at 4:50 PM
5 Comments:
ern, can we all do detoxes together??! it will be fun.. like a group activity!! also, we can do it at karen's house (she only has ONE toilet).. are you down? btw, i actually kinda believed the lady bug thing.. cause sometimes when you sleep bugs can crawl into your mouth! it wasn't really true was it??
OMFreak.. big brother is on.. i think my kitty just tinkled a little...
that is effing the most disgusting thing i have ever heard
when you mentioned you pooing out a ladybug in the email i almost gagged on my sugar-free watermelon bubbletea w/lycee jelly (what the eff, sugarless bubbletea)
and please, can we not talk about my constipation issues on the world wide web ever again ??
after we detox lets compare poos and see what we each poo out
so ne-yo is performing on SYTYCD right now.
i didn't think i had anymore mosquito bites and all of a sudden i am on a scratching frenzy
i hate mosquitos, i wish they would all fly into this bucket full of water so i can watch them slowly drown
(was that creepy ?)
well happy stampede all
i hope no one catches west nile
love
karen
ern.. what is a Singapore Sling?? it sounds damn tasty!! can i order it at the bar?? i will try it this weekend and see what the bartender says!
anywho.. christina's top 5 bbtea drinks are: taro, green apple green tea, lychee green tea, lychee-coconut milk, sugar-free watermelon.. all with lychee jelly! WOOP WOOP WOOP.. all this talk is making me crave one.
btw, i loved the pic of the peek a poohs.. i have that whole series. one day i can bring them all to work and we can play with them at lunch time if you wanna. it'll be fun.. like a play date. you can be kitty pooh ern.. mitchell, do you have a collection of poohs too??
also.. big brother = AMAZING!! team JANELLLE! WOOP WOOP WOOP
ps. please answer my questions that i leave in my comments. you guys always leave me pondering. geesh!
allo ah!
i'm so glad you updated! and i love the pics! except you really grossed me out about lady bugs now ern. i used to love them but now when i think of them...i think of them crawling out of your poop and saying hi to me =(
i'm really craving a sugarfree watermelon bbtea today... but at least we got the day off!! woop woop
i agree with christina.. go team janelle!!! you should make a big brother all stars section on your page now!
anywho.. have an awesome time at twisted and i think you should bring the triple threats there one day.. christina will show you how she pops her booty
sayonara ichiban!
So that's where Shelia went. i was wondering why i hadn't seen her in my crack den for awhile. You must have picked her up there last time you came over....for crack.
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